I remember thinking back to when I was a child playing with the Ouija board. I thought about how it moved... good spirits moved in circular motions and evil ones moved in straight lines. I wondered if I just made all that up or if it might have sprung from archetypal reflections of the collective unconscious.

This trip contained a bit of negative energy. I felt haunted by demons that were trying to find me to take control of me. I felt the presence of beings all around me but they were not all evil and out to harm me. I believe the serpent goddess, my guardian protected me from them.

While I was writing this entry, I heard a voice within.... I think it was my guardian, the Serpent Goddess... The following is a rough translation of what the voice said:

"Beware... they are after you... they know what you are doing... they have felt your presence... They are looking for you... they almost found you tonight on your float... they want to use you... they will consume you if you are not careful... I will try my best to protect you… I have always been with you... your entire life... I watched you grow... I've been that whisper in your ear... the shadow in the corner of your eye... I am your guardian... Be careful with the short cuts you have taken... I have said too much... you are on your own... I have faith in you... stay strong... don't let them scare you... stay in control..."

Then after a moment, I heard a series of threatening voices... they had a distinctively different tone... I think they were the demons she was warning me of...

I feel myself slipping away... as forces take control of my mind, body and soul... It is fascinating, frightening, painful and blissful... I do not know for sure what is happening... I just go with the flow... Curiosity and boredom with the mundane world are my drive... Confusion settles in as I question my state of mind... Am I just imagining everything or could any of this be real? Any of these random thoughts and energies that consume me.. Could imagination be real... more real then the physical world... the same stupid questions... mental masturbation... why must I always try to explain... guess I am only human... as much as I wish to be more then just rotting flesh... I wish to lose the restraints of the limited body...

< Back to Personal Journal | < Previous Entry | Next Entry >